Patricia Leahy

Loss is Still Loss



Posted: Wednesday, August 24, 2011

by Patricia Leahy

My immediate reaction on Monday brought me to tears as the memory of a previous suicide hit me like a ton of bricks.  How can this be happening?  He had a gun, he put it to his head and he pulled the trigger.

Where you thinking about your 3 sons?  Where you thinking about your ex-wife?  Your parents?  Your friends?  Your family?  What goes through a persons mind as they pull the trigger?  In the wake of this tragedy what are we all supposed to do?  Some will feel guilty that they didn't see this coming, while others will admit they saw it coming and felt helpless to do anything.  The children will somehow blame themselves because they weren't model children.  The ex-wife will blame herself for the rest of her days because perhaps the divorce added to his stress.  The loss of his job, the loss of their home, the loss their finances and so much more drove this man to his death.

I am consumed in sadness for all of them, including myself.  Just 4 years ago another husband of a dear friend did the same thing and I now realize how close to the surface that raw emotion still really is for me.  I am angry, I am hurt, I am sad.  As I look at the photos in my memory banks I see the group of us dancing at a holiday party.  I see us hanging out in the backyard with beer in hand and food on the grill.  I see us at church together - and now, he is gone.

My heart hurts.  I will pray for him, but mostly, I will pray for the people he has left in this wake of pain and suffering.  I am sorry Gil.
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» left by Jack H. Schick 235 days 17 hours ago.
96 fans.
Tough to experience. Sorry. I did an essay last year called "Erica R-- Killed Herself," about a neighbor girl-and her brother. Thanks.

What do we do with this Story Teller group of ours and the new SearchWarp stuff?
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